An Udder Achievement!

I have officially survived my first full week on the farm. All in all I think i've only lost a few ounces of blood and a couple grams of flesh.  But I have gained one hell of a farmers tan and quite the butch beard, if I do say so myself. More importantly I feel at home here. I've got this sense of belonging not only with the other workers and the family but the entire farm the animals and the area. I saw a giant beetle on my window the other day and just let it be, let it live it's little beetle life amongst me. Two weeks ago that beetles last memory would have been a very high pitched scream and a rolled up newspaper.  

The cows seem to have become more familiar with me as well. I get the feeling they no longer mind me tinkering with their teats. I've learned that a good scratch behind the theirs ears helps the process along. Some have caught on to my coaxing a little too quickly and now kick the milker off if I stop scratching. 

The entire milking process is quite incredible. I can't really describe the feeling of accomplishment that comes from milking a cow. I think it must be something similar to how the first man to rub two sticks together and end up with fire must have felt. The hard work definitely pays off. 

My proudest moment so far happened when I was milking. I'm not sure what the correct term for milking without the suction machine pipe thing is, it's probably not bareback but that seems fitting. Just me my hands a bucket and some cow teats. 

One of our new mothers was being a bit of a pest to get across the farm to join the milking herd so after 30 minutes of pushing and 20 feet of movement we just gave up, tied her off to a tree and got to business with her on the front lawn. Honestly, I was thrilled it was happening. Ever since I got to the farm I was determined to milk the old fashioned way. It's like a farm right of passage. I new I would feel completely different once I got a good squirt. 

The farmer asked if I had ever done this before, I told him "No, but I think I can get the hang of it." Luckily the cow was fairly experienced and well adjusted so she just let it happen. I had done some research on the technique. It's not as simple as you would expect. It's not all squeezing and tugging down there. It's much more of a gradual squeeze and roll. You first have to apply pressure around where the teat meets the udder by wrapping your thumb and index finger around it. Sort of forming the international hand signal for "OK". This prevents the milk from being squeezed up into the udder.  Then fold in the rest of your fingers in succession, as if they are doing the wave, while applying pressure and aiming for a bucket. This forces the milk to the bottom and out. 

I was nervous and excited If I pinch too hard I could get a clear kick and the face and shame myself in front of my boss. I reached down and went over the methods a few times in my head and then let instinct do the rest. "OK, finger wave, squeeze and... SQUIRT! My first squeeze and I got it!!! After that I was like a rock-star. Within minutes I was double fisting. One of the other farm assistance even asked me "Are you sure you've never done this before?" It was then that I truly knew I belonged here.